I’m copying this idea from Richard Herring, the comedian. He writes a daily blog, where he chooses something from his life, and writes on it for 30-45 minutes. He claims this is a useful writing exercise, which I can see the sense in. Like Herring, I won’t revise what I write. Unlike Herring, it probably won’t be particularly funny or interesting. Then again, you never know.

So, today. Today I went into Birmingham City Centre. It was raining, but I didn’t really feel like sitting at my laptop looking for jobs in London and Tokyo any longer, as the search hasn’t been going particularly well. The Hanshin game for the day had finished, with us winning by an impressive 22 runs to 8. Go Hanshin. I embarked upon my journey into Birmingham by train, did the usual sweep of Topman, H&M and a few other shops, bought a hoodie, and before I knew it was back at Moor Street station, waiting for the train home. Believe it or not this was an exciting departure from the monotony of the computer-led existence. Don’t get me wrong, I like computers, for a variety of reasons. It’s not the tool that’s the problem, but how you’re using it. Playing Football Manager or watching a baseball game is highly enjoyable, but writing the umpteenth cover letter or revising my dissertation from the 213th time is not. And recently, this is what I’ve been doing. Despite minor distractions here and there my thoughts dwell on what to do next, where to do it, and whether or not I will win the lottery so I can get out of making these decisions. In three months I’ll be 27. The twenties seem to be flying by, and despite the joys (and sorrows) I’ve had since leaving university 4 years ago, I am no closer to a Life Plan. So I’m at a crossroads. On the one hand, I’d like roots in a career path, a place to live for more than a year, and so on before I hit 30. On the other, I’m strongly attracted to just fucking off to Japan again for another year or two. And since I don’t know what I’ll eventually lay my roots in anyway, these problems are compounded.

At least the dissertation is going well, and I feel like I’ve got a good chance of getting a distinction in my MA. This matters a lot to me- in fact, I’d consider myself to have failed if I didn’t get this now. Then, its either recruitment consultancy in Tokyo (earn money, enjoy Japan), applications for phD’s in the U.S. (new country experiences, several year plan in place), or something temporary in London. All my applications to political risk companies, think tanks and the like have come up short. There are no jobs there, and this is a terrible time to be applying for jobs anyway. I’m totally and completely fucked. If only I could win tonight’s lottery. £2.3 million pounds… Ahem. Sorry, I seem to have drifted off into despondency there. Maybe I need a reality check. It would go something like this: “You can’t always have your cake and eat it Steve. Most people don’t enjoy their jobs, they do it so that they can live and enjoy the rest of life. If you don’t get real soon it’ll be too late to start a career anyway. You’re never going to be a photo-journalist living in a penthouse in Japan surrounded by babes in bikinis, so get over it!” Then again, maybe I don’t need that kind of warning. I’d rather focus on winning the lottery to be honest…

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